It's Funny How Things Change.
Hello, all! It's been quite awhile since I've sat down to write anything here other than my monthly challenges with Paige. I've not meant to leave everyone hanging, but I've felt like ideas and time to write them have been fleeting. Plus, I've got a pretty big project in the works right now that's taking up some time, but there will be more on that soon enough. For now, I've been thinking a lot about my place on the Internet and how it's changed since I first started connecting with people online.
In late 2010 and early 2011, I was home with one 18-month-old in a mid-renovation house and was going a little bit stir-crazy. We were still relatively new to the area, and without a job to go to, there weren't many people for me to get to know, especially in the dead of winter when everyone stays closed up in their homes. I got myself on Etsy, started the blog, and worked on building out social media accounts. I met people who were like me, who were easy to talk to, who made cool things, and it was fun to chat about nonsense. It still is, but now it's harder to find the time.
Right now I instead find myself with two growing children- the 18-month-old is almost six and his sister is three and a half. Our house is still a work in progress, as we've been finishing off one last section of the basement and my husband has decided to take on painting the house this summer, but it's not the frenetic blur of renovation activity it once was. Now we are wrapped up in more things outside of the house- birthday parties, get-togethers, dinners, playdates. We know actual people now, and we're generally running off to one place or another, more often than not with things back to back. In addition, we've started the kids in an activity each- Gus has been going to soccer and Greta is in gymnastics, both one day a week. They both enjoy it, and for that I'm glad, but part of me also mourns that time at home.
Time at home, though, is now a blur of chores. I find myself spending large chunks of time out of the house, running from location A to location B to location C, but having lag time in between and having to come up with a location B 2.0 to waste a little time. It's exhausting being on the run so much and then trying to catch up at home. Whole days are lost to being out and about, so then whole days are lost to returning the house to order, doing five and six loads of laundry in between clutter cleanup and bathroom duty. It's a never-ending back-and-forth process. And we're so lucky to have all of these things to do and the ability to do them, but part of me loves just the idea of being quiet at home and chatting on the Internet.
I'm looking forward to summer, when folks are away on vacations, when we don't have to be out to catch the bus every morning, where we might have a break from the constant motion. I just looked at my July and August calendar and almost sighed out loud with bliss at the total emptiness of both months. It will change, but for right now I'm reveling in what could be.
Funny enough, I also notice many friends who I met through Etsy are also online less, or in a different capacity than just hanging out and chatting. Everyone's lives are in a different place now- moves, kids, new jobs change the amount of time we have to ourselves. I feel a little better that it's not just me, that it's just life moving forward as it should be, though it does make me sad, for example, to read back on this blog and see names of people who I used to talk to quite frequently having moved on to other things and who have, for all intents and purposes, fallen off the Internet. I'd like to chat them up and see how things are going but that's kind of awkward.
Then it comes down to what I want from my online time. I still feel like I am constantly behind and like I am always playing the catch-up game, mostly because that's exactly how it is. I can't just focus on what I need to do and get it done, and really, I can't, because my life is playing out in 30-minute intervals, and who has time to think in that short amount of time? I'm hoping that summer will help me to slow down and give me some working time while the kids play in the yard. I want to try and keep the connections that I've built and continue to interact with the people I've met along the way, but at the same time, I feel like my purpose with the Internet is different now, and I feel a little lost with it all.
How do you feel about the person you were when you first started putting yourself out there online? Are you in a different place now, too? For those who don't blog or have a presence on social media- how are you different from where you were just a few years ago? Are there any noticeable differences?