Opinions and Feelings

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Today I may very well upset some of you, and I'm sorry if that happens.  I want to talk about opinions, sensitivity, and the like.  I mentioned on Friday that there was a lot going on in my head, that the Internet was giving me a lot of food for thought.  I've been trying to figure out how I want to piece it all together and I'm still not sure I'm going to get it right but here goes.

Part One: I have read a lot of posts lately expressing the opinion of the author on a particular subject: "My Opinion on X Subject".  It's stated over and over in the post, "This is just my opinion......I'm just telling you how I feel....." which after awhile, I find annoying.  Of course it's your opinion- you're writing it.  But I read through to see what the author has to say and then I read the comments, which are either so mindless and sickeningly sweet: "Oh my God, I LOVE you.  You are awesome and every single thing you say is so right!!" or they are well-written commentary expressing the opposite- non-argumentative, nicely stated opinions.  Those are the ones I find most interesting because so often there is a reply from the author stating, "That's fine if you think that, but this is MY opinion."  Boom, done.  No follow-up dialogue, not saying thanks for your point of view, nothing.  That type of response bothers me so much because the author is basically saying that their opinion is worth putting out there and the follow-up, contradictory ones are not.  This is about my opinion, not yours.  How dare you not agree with me on this post? (even though it's stated in the post at least once that not everyone will agree about x subject).  The whole point of an opinion is that it is a personal thought, and therefore, not everyone is going to think the way you do.  There's nothing wrong with that.  And if you are going to write a post where you have to start off with "This is just my opinion....." then maybe don't be surprised if some people don't agree with you.

This blog is full of opinions.  I'm writing what I think about something.  I know what I say doesn't always resonate with everyone, and it doesn't have to.  I don't mind getting comments that say something to the contrary because it might make me think a little bit differently about something.  (Nice, well-stated thought out comments, that is.  I don't include angry, nasty comments in that.)  Everyone is entitled to their opinion even if it's not a conformist one.

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Part Two: On Friday I also referenced this article, entitled "17 Cultural Reasons this European Never Wants to Live in America."  I found it fascinating given that I am an American- I really wanted to see what someone from another country has as an opinion of our society.  It's a really good read if you're open-minded.  If you're not, you may want to skip it because his very frank post may upset you.  But that's his number one point: Americans are too sensitive.  We cannot handle straightforward upfront speech when it is less than flattering toward us.  After I read that, I starting thinking about it and it's true: everything is qualified by, "This is just my opinion...."  Even my post today started with a disclaimer so you know it's not my goal to make you mad, because heaven forbid I say something that might not mesh well with your opinions.  Maybe I shouldn't have put it there, but I did.

We have to buffer our opinions with qualifiers so we don't lose readers, we can't speak frankly to someone about work performance because we might get sued due to perceived racial/gender issues even if there aren't any, we can't tell people that we don't like something about them without worrying about them dropping us as a friend, you can't tell someone they're doing something that makes them look funny or that they're overweight without hurting their feelings.  You don't want to be responsible for sending someone into a tailspin.  And all of this is completely ok in our society- we are so very politically correct- which may contribute to the mess we're currently in.  Everyone has to have the best of everything, everyone has to be equal and no one can be better or different than anyone else or else we hurt someone's feelings, and we're just not allowed to do that.  "Everyone gets a trophy!"  That drives me crazy.

One thing I found this week when I was working on my style posts was this, from someecards:

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Honestly, it cracked me up.  But I didn't post it because I didn't want to make anyone mad, didn't want to offend anyone and lose a reader.  I'm still ok with that decision because that isn't necessarily the tone I want to bring to the blog, but the first thing I think about shouldn't be whether or not someone reading isn't going to like it.  Honestly, I'm not a mean-spirited person, but I laugh at most of those e-cards, even when it's something about my own personality.  It's just an e-card.  I can take it.

I am not, however, personally good with constructive criticism.  Perhaps it's the Type A perfectionist in me, but I want to do everything right the first time and not mess up at all.  I hate constructive criticism, but I'm getting better at taking it.  One person who does not hold back on me is hubs, and I hate not being perfect to him, which I realize is silly.  I'm sensitive to his remarks and they often hurt my feelings, but then I think about it and realize he's not telling me whatever it is to hurt me, he's just trying to help.  It's me that's taking it the wrong way.  I need to get over myself, and maybe the rest of society does too.

So, that's my two cents.  It's okay if you don't agree with me.