Introvert.

*Note: If you are offending by the b-word then please don't read today's post, although I'm only using it in reference to myself and not in a serious way.*

I don't know exactly how we ever got started on the subject, but Heidi, Paige, Ayla, and I have determined that we are all members of the introverted / shy group.  We joke about how, if we were ever in a room together, we wouldn't know what to say to each other even though we're chatting each other up online all the time. 


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Introverts love time alone, need time to process their thoughts, like to listen, and hate to be put on the spot.  We are all bad at making conversation with people we've never met.  (Heidi wrote a great post about it, comparing herself to her extrovert fiance.)  Shy people hate crowds, public speaking, meeting people they don't know, and attention directed toward them in general.  I definitely have a combination of both of these characteristics.  (They are not one in the same.  See here- thanks to Amanda for posting this link today!)

Of course, Buzzfeed comes up with the best lists, so Things Only Shy People Will Understand is right on, and so is 27 Problems Only Introverts Will Understand.  (#2, #4, #10, #11, #15, #24)  .  I have been the perceived bitch/snob in school just because I listen and wasn't necessarily outgoing, and class presentations were indeed terrifying.  Introductions are always awkward and embarrassing for me, and I can never find the right words.  Finding good friends is really hard.  Even my husband thought I was a huge snob when we met because I didn't talk to him much.  Thankfully chatting on Instant Messenger (way back in 2000) helped us out.


I like to think that once you get to know me, I am a pretty nice and fun person, but it can take awhile for that ice to chip away because I have the worst time making small talk.  I can sit there and think, "I should be asking them something," and then cannot for the life of me come up with a simple question.  So we then sit in awkward silence until someone else starts talking.  Please think about this before you judge someone for being a little reserved when you meet them- they may just be taking it all in to process later, and they may actually make a great friend.  For this I am grateful for my online friends.  Not only are they people who share the same interests, based on where we met online, but the filter of the computer screen allows me to think and respond appropriately without anyone seeing my bitchy resting face.

Even Hermione Granger can't escape it. (#9)


12 comments

  1. Hahaha I have gotten much better over the years and it's helped that Ryan forces me to be social. I am still very shy when it comes to meeting new people. However when I have some alcohol in my system I'm really social.

    I did go to a mixer by myself and did really well when I meet strangers so I'm working on it.

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    1. Yes! I really have been trying to try and be better about making small talk and trying to actively ask people questions about themselves, which I'm really bad at. But it's really, really and effort.

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  2. IM definitely helped me and Andrew out too. We used to IM each other a lot in college because that's just what you did. However, then I didn't have to talk to him face to face because that would be awkward for me as an introvert. I just reread my blog post and it still rings true. I was panicking about going to Andrew's company picnic this year because the summer before, he didn't introduce me to anyone, then went to go fill up our beers at the keg and got sucked into a 20 minute conversation. So, 1) I was standing awkwardly with a group of people that I didn't really know, and 2) I didn't even have a beer to loosen me up because Andrew was off filling it up for 20 minutes. Anyway, this summer I had a near melt down in the car on the way to the picnic. It was a 40 minute drive to get there and the anxiety of having to deal with a situation like that kept building during the drive. Andrew finally calmed me down after he promised about 20 times not to leave my side the whole time...hahaha.

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    1. Social situations are probably the one thing I DON'T panic at (my anxiety runs deep!) but I'm just so not good at it that I end up embarrassed at something I said or playing it over and over in my head thinking of what I could have said better. Not to mention the fact that my face turns BRIGHT RED when I'm speaking in a group of acquaintances. Small staff meetings were the worst.

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  3. You're preaching to the choir on this one. Haha. Loved those buzzfeed lists. "How was your weekend? Great I didn't see anyone for 2 days." :D

    I also seem to have been cursed with an inappropriate amount of extroverts in my life, which is torture because they just don't know. I think I have finally got them all to stop inviting me to things...after years of me telling them, "You know I'm not coming to this, right?" in response to whatever evite/facebook thing I get.

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    1. I certainly don't mind hanging out with people, just not large groups of people I don't know. I always hated parties and "going out". In high school my BFF and I would hang out at her house, drinking tea and cross stitching while watching tv. :)

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  4. So much yes. I'm not shy, but I'm definitely an introvert. Being around too many people is exhausting. The WORST is when I have to interact with a larger group that I've met 2-3 times (husband's co-workers, for example) because I've already asked them what they do, where they live, etc., but I don't really KNOW them. How the hell am I supposed to come up with conversation topics?! Where is this magic pill that extroverts take, and where can I get one for those occasions? Thankfully my husband doesn't share my affliction, so he handles most of the conversation prompts and I can just throw in a "yeah" or a "that's crazy!" so people don't think I'm mute.

    I even get tired if I'm hanging around my good friends for too long. Sometimes I'll get a second wind, but after about half a day, no matter how close we are, I need a little brain break to regroup.

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    1. My husband is not big on hanging out at all- he is in no way an extrovert- but he is FANTASTIC at making conversation. He asks people thoughtful (easy!) things that I would never have thought of. I don't know how he does it but I have been thankful to have him by my side on so many occasions so I can also throw out the expected, "yea!" without looking like a dummy.

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  5. BRF! Yes! I suffer from Bitchy Resting Face too. I've had people who pass me in the grocery store or at work tell me I should smile. No, I'm not miserable, I just look like a bitch when I'm not doing/saying anything.

    Okay, usually at the grocery store I'm actually miserable because of all the people in my way. :)

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  6. Great post! I definitely suffer from Bitchy Resting Face, too. People often tell me that I need to smile more. It's so important for people to understand the full nature of introverted personalities.

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    1. It's almost like if you're not happily smiling all the time, people don't know how to deal with it and think there's something wrong with you. But if there's no outright reason to be smiling, why would you?

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  7. I hear you on this one! I like to be around people who are talkers who can keep a conversation going. I do much better in writing so I can really gather my thoughts and get the tone right. And I turn beet red if I get singled out on something in a group - even if it's a compliment!

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