Speaking the Truth.
I had a thought about commenting on blogs.
Do you comment if you don't agree with the post?
I've read some posts where I don't agree with what the author is saying. Be it the content, the opinion, the tone, whatever it is- something just didn't click with me that day. I usually want to comment leaving my thoughts about the subject at hand....but I don't. Consistently, I don't say a thing.
Why not?
I previously mentioned how I feel about people who don't listen to their commenters' opinions (read here), but I just got to wondering about the people who actually do leave a "negative" comment and where they get the confidence to do that.
I suppose I feel as though, if I leave a negative comment (and by this I mean anything that is a differing opinion) that it is going to reflect negatively on me. It is going to lead to a nasty e-mail follow-up, or a comment on my blog, or some kind of mean-girl network talking about me and my audacity behind my back. The author is going to be thinking, "Who does this person think she is?" I understand that a lot of that is me and how I perceive things to be, but there isn't a lot of disagreement on the smaller blogs I read (news blogs don't count- those people will say anything), so I think that a negative comment would be taken more personally and would therefore lead to more of an overreaction.
But then I think, why don't I just say what I'm thinking if it's what I'm thinking? If I can state my opinion nicely then what's holding me back?
Do you comment if you don't agree with the post? Or do you keep your thoughts to yourself? Inquiring minds want to know.
I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. in fact, after reading a post last week that motivated me to write a very strongly-worded response that I then deleted, I started drafting something about this very same topic. I'll let you know when I'm finished figuring out my thoughts on it - and, if it's okay, I'll link to this post in mine?
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one for me. As a democrat and a non practicing Catholic, I found my opinions differ vastly from some that I read. But stating how I feel, however nicely, would probably offend a few. Plus on the internet, sometimes things are read differently than how you intended them.
ReplyDeleteIt's a challenge too as a small business owner, because sometimes I follow my customers blogs, and if something is misinterpreted I don't want to burn any bridges.
What those two ladies above said.. yup. Same here. I'm a liberal, in (what seems like) world (blog world) of conservatives and my opinion is almost always VERY different from the writers'. There have been more times than I can count, when I really, really wanted to leave a differing opinion comment. But, have decided to keep my mouth shut. Because, like you said, most of the time I feel like it'd be read wrong, or with the wrong tone. And then, I'd be chastised for thinking/feeling that way.
ReplyDeleteI actually HAVE left differing opinion comments on blogs. Not all the time, but every once in a while I'll speak up in a polite way. Even when I'm nice about it, some people still delete my comments, which is too bad. If you're willing to put yourself out there, why not have a real conversation? I don't mind if somebody disagrees with me on my blog, but they have to do it in a respectful way.
ReplyDeletereally..people actually delete negative comments. I mean if you aren't offensive I don't see why your comment should be deleted. It's always nice to hear the otherside.
DeleteWhen I read posts I don't agree with I usually don't say anything and it's usually because I have nothing to say. I don't really want to leave a comment that says "nice post even though I don't agree with it".
ReplyDeleteI do think you should leave comments even if they aren't 'positive' because it can help the blogger explain themselves better for the future. For example, I don't think I wrote my post from last Friday very well because most people just said 'I'm anti-cheating' instead of getting my point. My point was why do we accept cheating in movies but not in our real lives?
In short, I think I didn't explain myself very well. Which is ok because now I know I need to write differently when speaking about a complicated topic.
I don't usually respond if I don't agree unless I feel really really strongly about it (and usually only if it's a serious topic). Honestly, though, I don't read many controversial blogs or blogs where I feel the need to put my two cents in. Like Paige said, any differences of opinion are often deleted. And, in some cases, you do have to be prepared for your opinion to be attacked by the blogger's devoted fans in a middle-school-esque-I-can't-believe-these-are-actually-grown-women-bullying type of way. I have seen that happen to people. But every person has to do (or write) what they think is right, of course.
ReplyDeleteI keep my mouth shut for the most part out of the same fears you have. Unless it is something I am really passionate about. My mom always said to pick your battles. When I do leave a negative comment I try to make it as kind as possible.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it all depends on how well I know the blogger. I wouldn't leave a negative/differing comment on a random blog I just started reading. It's so hard to "read" a person's tone in a blog comment.
ReplyDeleteBut if I know the blogger well and know they will understand that my comment isn't slamming them, I have no problem offering my view, even if it's different from theirs.
I've been struggling with this, too. For the most part, no, I don't comment if I completely disagree. If I have a point I want to bring up that the author hasn't addressed for the particular issue, I may do that. Or if they specifically ask at the end of the post "what do you think about ___?" It's clear on some blogs, though, that no matter how politely you word it, an opinion that differs from the poster's is taken as invalid or an attack. One blog in particular (that I'm no longer going to comment on) feels the need to turn even a relatively harmless topic into a superiority contest. It's a very clear My Way is the Best attitude, and I've since unfollowed, even though I like some of her DIY and book posts.
ReplyDeleteI will say, with outfit posts like on What I Wore Wednesdays, I don't comment if I don't like the outfit.
I often start writing a comment and then halfway through I'll think to myself "ugh, this just isn't worth it." I'm not an instigator and I don't want to come off as a bitch, so sometimes I hope someone else will chime in with my differing opinion so I don't have to. But every now and again I'll lay down the law when I really feel strongly about something.
ReplyDeleteThere are just a couple of times I've left a dissenting comment. They were only when I thought it might be helpful to share something I knew. Otherwise I tend to surf away when the comment might be a matter of my opinion versus the blogger.
ReplyDeleteI think that as long as you stay respectful and be nice, it's totally okay to leave a comment that differs. I once wrote a post about how I hated xyz, and everybody agreed--except for one person. She stated her opinion in a (relatively) respectful way, and not only did I keep it on my blog, I emailed her back and started a conversation. I say go for it--just be nice while doing it!
ReplyDelete